Car Crash Dreams
by cheeses
Summary: Jane Rizzoli wasn't found amongst the wreckage, a young male was found in close proximity to where her car was, with her badge, gun and ID. Are you sure it wasn't a James you were looking for? After Season 2 finale
1. Chapter 1

The Boston skyline was grey, a murky pond lingered over the city, spilling it's contents down onto the streets bellow.

Jane watched the rain roll down her car windscreen and counted the seconds before the wipers screeched along the glass until the droplets had vanished, then it started again.

_One, two, three, four, screech. _

Jane flexed her hands around the steering wheel, she'd been sat in traffic for over twenty minuets, nothing was moving. She was already irritated, due to the lack of the sleep the previous night and had the haggard complexion to prove it. Purple crescents rested under her eyes and her skin was pale, she also had bruised knuckles from an encounter with her bed room door. The hinges were becoming stiff so it got harder to open the thing and proved tricky while drunk. Jane looked down at the graze, liking how the skin had broken and was still red and blotchy.

Jane noticed new things, things that she never paid attention to before. She was clumsy, more so now as she threw herself into her work, literally at times.

They'd solved three cases that week alone and nothing had stopped her from tackling one suspect in crowded mall. She had a nasty yellow bruise on her upper arm to pay for it.

The rain pounded down harder and the wipers screeched over her internal banter. Jane felt something behind her, not a physical being inside the car but something out side, lingering under the hum of hundreds of engines around her and the onslaught of fresh rain.

Jane looked ahead, it was still grid locked and glanced through her rear view mirror, she felt the hairs prickle on her neck. While her eyes still scanned behind her franticly, that's when she saw it. A truck was skidding, parting the surrounding cars like dominoes. She tried to focus in on the driver, the screen was covered in blood splatter. The truck ground cars into flattened heaps of glass and metal as it roared through the traffic.

"Oh shit" Jane struggled with her seat belt, in attempt to save herself. She had to save the others. Jane took glances around her, people were doing the same, running.

Jane finally wrenched herself from the seat and burst out of her car seconds before the truck slammed into her Subaru and tumbling onto it's side in a burning wreck.

Jane landed in a heap close to the wreckage. Her eyes glazed over and she crawled away, hearing crunching metal and glass behind her. Jane collapsed onto the pavement and lay on her back, panting like her body was hollow and she couldn't keep her air inside her. A truck. A huge steal rivet truck had tore apart the morning rush like a knife into butter.

Her hand slunk down to her belt to pluck her phone from it's holder.

Her concentration was wrenched up from her phone to the large industrial groan coming from the truck. Jane's eyes widened. It was going to blow. The cargo was popping and spitting from inside it's metal cage, flames burst from every rivet.

Jane scrambled to her feet and ran, all she knew was that she had to run. Jane screamed to others who escaped with minor injuries, to run.

Jane looked back at the heaps of burning metal and shattered glass.

That's the last her eyes bore witness to.


	2. Chapter 2

**thank you for the reviews and all the story alerts  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Maura slunk into the chair behind her desk, she had a neat pile of empty boxes staring her in the face. The M.E pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. 18 boxes, 4 small, 6 medium and 8 large.<p>

She'd already taken down the decorations that had once proudly lived up the dull space it had now been degraded to. So that left... 13 boxes to be filled.

This had been her week, solving a case, packing up, solving a case, packing up. It was like clock work now she hadn't got Jane to distract her.

Jane _had_ been a happy distraction in the past.

They had only crossed paths once, a month ago, while walking down to the cafeteria. Maura thought it correct to blank the Detective, she was sure Jane had done the same. Jane had done the same, hadn't she? Maura shook her head, she knew she went back to this question too often in her pondering, Jane and her were no longer involved with each other. Yes, it hurt her, but it had to be done, it was too late to find common ground.

Maura heard her phone buzz angrily, clattering violently on her desk. Maura picked up the device reluctantly, looking at the caller ID.

_Jane_

The picture behind the white text made Maura sigh, in that brief second, she remembered Jane, like she had changed from the person she was when they ate cat food huddled up in the lab to the stranger that faced everyday with stone cold eyes.

Maura huffed and reclined the call.

Jane never called, she probably sat on the key pad.

Maura set her phone back down and closed her eyes, she needed a time out.

It seemed a few seconds before she was wrenched awake with a knot in the pit of her stomach. It wasn't hunger, it was dread.

Frost burst in, his eyes cut through her like razors.

"Dr Isles" Frost's voice was urgent.

"Barry?" Maura grimaced after seeing his sickened facial expression, she knew something had happened.

"There has been a collision on the highway... involving a truck... explosion..." he couldn't pace or locate his words, his throat ran dry.

"Jane" Maura's eyes widened and she launched her once fatigued body from it's rest in the chair.

Maura grabbed her phone and jacket.

"Take me to the hospital" Maura's demand was cut short by Frost look of defeat.

"It's all blocked off... the city is at a stand still, even the medics can't get too close..."

"You mean to say" Maura's voice rose with anger. "Jane is trapped"

Frost looked away, rubbing the back of his head.

"We can not just sit here and wait Detective Frost" her voice went shrill, then sickness hit her, she'd declined the call. Maura's body soon went numb, her heart hammered her chest, bouncing off every rib and shocking her. Frost noted that Maura had gotten paler.

"Dr Isles?" Frost watched with helpless eyes as she dropped her phone, it clattered to the floor, the back of it broke away easily, then followed by spilling the battery.

"Jane tried to..." Maura fell backwards, breaking down onto the floor, kneeling. Her breaths became short and raspy, her chest tightened.

"She called me" Maura's voice was weak, replaced by the threat of tears. The ducts in her eyes summoned the droplets, the ecstasy of spilling them loomed but as they retracted with shock, that yearning to shed them burned away.

"She what?" Frost leant down to her level, rolling his jaw after his words melted from his lips.

"She called... I didn't know" Maura's voice was a whisper. Frost straightened his posture once more and grabbed his phone from his pocket.

"I'm going to see if they have found her" he exited swiftly. Maura stood up and leant on the desk, Jane was possibility injured and she was too stubborn to answer the phone.

Good one Maura.


	3. Chapter 3

**sorry for the delay, I'm still pondering with the plot, i want to know what you think might happen from here, it makes me get inspired... sorry it's short x**

* * *

><p>Jane opened her left eye, the lid felt heavy and her sight strained past the white blur that was above her. Her mouth was dry, like a desert had been planted in there. A groan broke through her lips when she felt her head pounding, her heart had found it's way into her skull.<p>

"Can you here me?" a low, rough voice was lingering above her.

Jane tried to lift her left arm in attempt to shade her eyes from the new, fake yellow glow of a flash light. The limb only responded with waves of pain, she hissed as the felt a cold hand clamp down on the unresponsive limb.

"What are you doing?" Jane snapped, her voice was gravely. The amount of strain on her vocal chords to say the words offensively took most of her resilience to take account of her situation. Yes, she was hurt, her good arm was broke and some guy was making sure the pain continued.

"Making sure you stay put"

Jane still couldn't make out a face.

"Hell, what? Stay put? You better get the fuck off me" Jane instinctively lurched her body into a sitting position to confront the threat, but she soon backed down once the cool side of a blade rested on her throat. A whimper escaped her once proud defence.

"Now I believe, you did us a favour"

"Favour?" Jane slurred, wincing as the blade soon warmed to her skin.

"Paddy Doyle"

"Doyle?" Jane knew a thunder storm was headed her way, she gulped her saliva glued up her throat.

"You are Jane Rizzoli, the very woman who took him down" the attackers voice was laced with gremlins.

"Then why the hell are you holding a knife to my throat?" Jane snapped, but felt the blade shift closer into the delicate skin.

"Your the perfect weapon"

Jane pressed her mouth into a hard line, her eyes now fully open and crawling through the darkness. The air smelt like smoke, it started it make her lungs quiver.

"I'm not gonna do anything for you"

"You don't have to" the gremlins swarmed.


	4. Chapter 4

**sorry it's taken so long to update... **

* * *

><p>Maura paced, glancing at the clock with every spare moment that wasn't focused on her phone screen.<p>

Jane's number was highlighted and she read the same numbers over and over, like the small shapes were therapeutic. If she'd picked up... _if_ she'd picked up. Saying _ifs _and _buts_ wasn't going to help anything, what happened had happened, Maura knew that.

At that moment it had felt proper to ignore Jane, the stubborn feeling had long subsided and melted into toxic misery, burning through the M.E's thoughts as she read those italic numbers.

Frost slunk into the room, his silent approach still upheld the tension and urgency of his next few sentences.

"They found a body" Frost still had his phone clutched in his clammy palm. "It's not Jane"

Maura span on her heal and snapped, waves of cooped up aggression flowing out.

"Then why would I want to know?"

"Because" Frost placed his hand in front of him to physically ward off the M.E. He spoke calmly. "Jane's ID, gun and badge were on the body"  
>"What?" Maura slid her phone back into her coat pocket in preparation for her onslaught of questions that she knew Frost couldn't answer, but she had to let off steam.<p>

"They're bringing him in now... they reported he was confused, he kept saying his name was Jane"

Maura narrowed her eyes in thought, diagnosing this stranger, this... suspect, would help her regain some normality.

"I want to see him" Maura crossed her arms across her chest tightly.

"As soon as he's in I'll let you know" Frost glanced over his shoulder then to his phone.

"Ring me" Maura concluded their interaction sharply, Frost took this tone to leave and catch some air. An angry Maura was a unstable Maura, he knew that much.

Frost had been gone... twenty seconds and Maura felt every second drag across her consciousness.

Her skin seemed to crawl with anticipation of meeting this man, the small insects of anger pushed against her flesh.

Maura looked over to the boxes. She could be using this time to pack, standing around brooding wasn't going to quicken time. Maura flexed her hands and set to work.

Dragged in by his scruff, James made an entrance into Maura's life.

Maura had only finished the quick call from Frost when the heap of a man tumbled through her office doors.

"We thought we'd bring him here" Korsak looked down upon the man, Frost nodded in calcification, stuffing his phone into his pocket.

James shifted under the M.E's cruel stare. His hair was black and shabby, his skin was infested with a olive tinge. If Maura hadn't known better she would have mistaken this man for a Rizzoli.

"Who are you?" Maura paced her words, knowing if she lost control, it'd be over.

"Jane Rizzoli"

Korsak tightened his grip on the man's collar.

"Are you messed up kid?" Korsak hollered and threw him into a chair.

Maura held a shaky hand up to pause Korsak's assault.

"He may have suffered brain trauma, due to the explosion, you did say they found his at the scene"

Frost doubled over to catch his breath, he'd ran to collect this guy.

Maura was stood next to James, examining his physical state.

"Have you still got Jane Rizzoli's belongings on you?" Maura spoke woodenly.

James sunk into the chair, his clothes were ripped, his left side was visible. He proceeded to tug Jane's gun, badge and ID from his pockets. Frost and Korsak tensed as the gun was presented.

"May I have them?" Maura covered her hand with a tissue as she handled the weapon, getting her finger prints on the gun wasn't going to help finding Jane, they'd have to check from DNA other than Jane's on the thing.

Maura felt a twinge of hatred towards the weapon as it was placed in her hand, the urge to throw it across the room and shout abuse at the air was ever impending. She knew she was better than that.

"Thank you" she placed the gun down on a newspaper on her desk.

"The ID" Maura instructed and also handled this with tissue, along with the badge. Maura's eyes fell on the small picture of Jane on the ID. She looked morbid, Maura knew she hated photos when she had to have a fixed expression.

Maura felt a small smile creep on her lips, it was gone as soon as Korsak spoke.

"Should I take these down to the lab?"

"Yes thank you Detective Korsak" She watched Korsak collect the items in separate bags.

He exited swiftly. Frost still stood glaring at James.

"Now, I want you to tell me how you acquired those items" Maura's voice was sharp.

James rested his head in his hands.

"I don't know"

"Have you ever met Jane Rizzoli"

"I don't know" James shook and whimpered.

Maura looked at Frost quickly.

"We need to get this man checked out before we can continue he exhibits signs of amnesia, probably due to exposure to the explosion or due to trauma of the crash"

"Want me to go and send for someone?" Frost glanced to the door then back to the M.E.

"How long do you think a medic would get here?"

"I dunno, an hour, I mean look at it out there..." Frost rubbed his eyes and Maura bit the inside of her cheek.  
>"I'll do it then" Maura knew she would have anyway but she still wanted the option.<p>

James looked her up and down, his sight glazing over.

"Please sit up" Maura instructed and the raggedy man did so. Maura knelt to his level and carried out a few tests of the top of her head, she hadn't checked for traumas on a live patient in years.

Frost turned his back in a natural reaction, whenever Maura tended to a body blood was always involved.

He heard James hiss and Maura give a small 'ah ha' he turned to check the damage.

"He has a large gash, estimated 1 cm in depth and..." Maura narrowed her eyes and brushed the blood soaked hair her from her line of sight. "Length of about 4cm and width, 1cm"

Frost stared blankly at her assumption and James wobbled in the seat.

"This injury wasn't from the crash" Maura stood up and walked to her cabinet, luckily there was a first aid kit in there, left from when she first moved into the office.

"James I'm going to have to tend to your wound with out local antithetic, you will feel a moderate amount of pain, but it will be over in a few minuets" Maura tried to give him a hopeful smile, but I rested on her lips like broken glass.

Frost turned around again as he saw Maura open the kit and pick out a gauss, a bundle meant for stitches and tweezers.

"Doc, I'm just gonna go out for a second" Frost was already heading to the door while he spoke. Maura nodded.

"Fair enough, Frost, let me know if Korsak has managed to get prints of the ID yet... other than Jane's of course"

"Will do" Frost shouted speed walking to the elevators.

Maura then snapped her wandering attention back to James.

"Hold still"


	5. Chapter 5

Jane awoke, her eyes groggily scanned the room around her. Everything wobbled, like it was shrinking and growing as her line of sight moved. She was in Maura's office, she'd gathered that much, the smell of her perfume and sound of the generator in the next room all acted as landmarks in Jane's favour.

"Maura?" Jane tried to sit up but her body didn't respond like she'd intend. Honey blond hair crossed her differing vision.

"It's Doctor Isles yes, what is it?" he voice was sharp and cold. Jane felt something stab at her gut, she tried to rub her eyes.

"It's me, Jane" Jane's voice croaked, she pressed her mouth into a thin line.

_What hell, that's NOT my voice. _

Jane felt her heart beat increase with a panic even foreign to her. Jane looked down at her hands, they were larger, but still possessed the scars. Jane patted herself down, adrenalin spiked her blood.

"This can't be happening" Jane wheezed and Maura watched this man crumbling before her, unable to help. A small voice inside her head told her never to help him.

Jane looked at Maura through watery eyes.

_Run Jane, fucking hell, bail. _

"I have to go" Jane rasped and lugged her bruised body from the chair, she wobbled on her feet, trying to remember which foot went fist in her disorientation.

"Stop there" Korsak cut her off, bursting through the office doors, handing the results to Maura he turned to who he saw as James. Jane grunted as he shoved her back. Jane felt her innards twist in sickness as is swilled around her stomach. She's never seen Korsak this nasty, she guessed it would have been a twisted privilege to see if she wasn't on the tail end of it.

"I have to go" Jane felt anger claw up from her heart, ripping the sensitive organs that kept her alive as it burned.

"You ain't going anywhere" Korsak snapped and Jane clenched her jaw.

"Let me past Korsak"

"You asking for it?"

"What do you fucking think?" Jane's sarcasm was short lived, Korsak silenced her by wrestling her into the chair again. Maura's brain processed the event unfolding in front of her.

"Vince!" Maura snapped and Korsak stopped shoving James, his eyes wide. "I know it's tough on all of us, but please stop" Maura's logic save Jane again, even if the M.E didn't know it.

Jane stumbled back and sank back into the chair she knew she'd been confined.

"This punk!" Korsak pointed a finger at James and huffed.

"He is injured, disorientated and innocent" Maura crossed her arms tightly.

Korsak shot a glare to James.

"If you know where Jane is... I think you should just tell us"

Jane yearned to shout, to scream to prove to them she was trapped some how in a guys body.

"No" she began. "No I don't know where she is" playing along was playing safe.


	6. Chapter 6

**Yes, the whole James/Jane thing is confusing for me too even to write, rain check, Jane is a male now.**

Jane or rather James had been dragged to the toilets to 'freshen up'. The whole of BPD had stared, like Jane didn't need enough paranoia already. Frost waited outside the door while she tried to comprehend her bodily state.

"Okay, what the fuck" was the first words to come out of her new mouth. Jane winced, she had to admit, she looked half dead, well the new her looked half dead. She placed both hands on the either side of a sink and glared at herself or rather himself.

_His _hair was shoddy, long enough that it made rough, uneven layers that could be easily tamed.

_His _jaw was long with tough angular chin.

_He _had dark eyes, much like Jane's formerly but heavier more intensely framed.

_His _nose was slightly crooked much like Jane's before this bodily screw up.

The skin tone was the same. Jane pondered to herself at her new body.

She prodded at her stomach, she felt muscle, a lot of it.

_His _frame was still tall and lanky, but she reached about 6'2 now. Build like a natural athlete.

Just one thing bugged the still female mind.

Jane looked down, further than she ever really though she could take. She needed to pee, but she was unsure of the male... accessory she now possessed.

"Come on" _his _voice was husky and held the same verbal tones the female Jane's vocal range had done, just a lot less womanly.

Jane peeled off the jacket she'd acquired and carried it out with her. The need of the lavatory would have to wait.

Frost eyed James and grunted. Jane grinned, she knew that look. In her new body she was taller than Frost and probably stronger, she never did get the whole testosterone business. The grey shirt she was clad in made her new bodies muscles stand out, furthering Frost's irritation.

The walk back to Maura's office was silent, Jane was regaining her senses and realising how much pain she was actually in.

Opening Maura's office door with a creek, James stepped into Maura's line of sight.

"Feeling any better?" Maura's words were still wooden.

"No" Jane still comprehend the deepness of her new voice and winced a little.

Frost grunted and stood with his arms crossed, his chest puffed out.

Maura glanced at this display of authority and how James wasn't even batting an eye lid at it. She'd studied men's natural behaviour, James should be trying to beat Frost, he was taller and had showed signs of weakness, yet the man stayed fixated on her every move.

"Can you remember how you got hold of Detective Rizzoli's belongings"

_Really Maura, this again?_

Jane internally rolled her eyes, but made James shake his head obediently.

Frost grunted again. Jane turned in annoyance to him, god he could be a dick.

"What's so funny?" Jane questioned, her voice deepening. She grew fond of the new her... him...

Frost raised is eyebrows.

"Nothing, it suggest you shut it" Frost defended and Maura pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Frost can you leave us?"

"Sure" Frost gave James the stink eye before exiting.

Jane mapped Maura's movements.

"I'll try and help" Jane ran a hand through her hair, the differing layers gave her a hard time in finding relief in her habit. Maura froze, like a rabbit in head lights, staring at James.

Jane gulped, realising this was the tell tail sign, maybe Maura would guess, she was a _genius._

"Can I have your full name?" Maura regained her professional posture and began to pace.

"James..." Jane searched her brain for a last name, something believable. "Novelli"

_Really? Come on! Fuck. _

Maura raised an eyebrow.

_Don't give me that look._

"You're of Italian descent?" Maura asked, something unsettled her.

"Yeah" Jane began "My Pa was born Florence, he came over here when he was a kid... originally they settled in Red Hook"

"Red Hook... Brooklyn?"

"Yeah" Jane knew she was digging a hole deeper. "A porter since he was fifteen, moved to Boston when I was born"

Maura was pacing again.

"Really?"

"Why don't you believe me?" Jane tried to convey and innocent grin, but it came across pained.

Maura smirked, James had cute mannerisms, they way he flitted his eyes about and seemed to get lost in some form of thought attracted the M.E.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I'm a suspect" he smirked and Maura nodded once.

"Yes, you are" Maura had to reassure that James was.

Jane gulped thickly.

"I just want to find Jane" Maura sighed and sat back down behind her desk, her face looked pale.

Jane shifted.

_I'm HERE Maura. _

"She wants to find you too" James smiled at Maura kindly. Maura sat up, she saw something, that glint in his eyes, the same look that Jane used to give her. "I bet" James cut in.

_Damn it! Smooth Rizzoli! _Her inner sarcasm hurt.

"I hope" Maura eyed James and brushed off the haze she felt she was sinking into.


	7. Chapter 7

**If you're curious of how Jane looks as a man... I invisoned her looking like David Giuntoli**

**Enjoy**

* * *

><p>The evening fell in Boston, the sky line was amber, smoky clouds drifted above the sky scrapers. Rain still clung to the ground, sleeping on the sidewal in guilty puddles, the city hummed with life as it drifted into darkness. The highway was still recovering, bleeding wreckage and burnt out shells of cars. Flashing blue and red patrol lights lit up the ever fading light and the smell of burnt rubber clung to the air.<p>

Jane looked through new eyes at the city through the window of the holding cell. Her heart sunk and she ran a hand through her messy hair. Her fingers trembled.

"Fuck" her male voice echoed and she growled. She wanted to be a woman... wanted to have the comfort of her lanky limbs her past anatomy created an ache in the pit of this new stomach.

The shoes she'd been clad in were rubbing the back of her ankle. Growling, she pulled them off her feet, tossing them across the cell, the fist shoe landed with a thud, five seconds later the second shoe followed it's twin. Jane slid down the wall and sat cross legged on the floor.

_Male, how the fuck am I a man? _

_I'm a boy. God I would have loved this as a kid. _

She smiled crookedly at the memory. She'd wanted to be a boy, hanging out with them for the majority of her childhood had left her with a disability when it came to speaking to girls on a normal level. Even in high school, being friends with girls had always been awkward at times.

They hugged each other, kissed each other on the cheek, held hands as if it was a normal occurrence, all Jane had known at fourteen that it was a sign of affection. Guys had shown their affection by calling each other, punching, there had been no hugging. Jane smirked. The closest she'd gotten to a hug while hanging out with them was when she'd climbed a tree and hugged it when she got to scared to come down.

Then that feeling had subsided soon after she turned fifteen, her mental state developed, she'd gotten 'girly' to an extent.

Jane huffed and gulped.

She had to be that kid again, the tomboy, she had to be a boy.

Jane felt her eyes sting, her new body rejected the action.

Boy's didn't cry.

_James_ had to be the strong guy, not emotional, she didn't want to be seen as weak. Jane rested her head on the wall, feeling the cold concrete caress her new body's scalp.

Jane's ears pricked up when the door of the holding cell cracked open, a voice flooded in then the door opened fully.

Maura stood under the door frame.

"Mr Novelli" she started and stepped into the cell.

_Who the hell is... oh me._

Jane stood up, wobbling, she was heavier now.

"Yes" her male voice was careful.

Maura gave James a stern look.

"There is a woman..." Maura sighed and Jane knew that look anywhere. Her heart fell to the pit of her stomarch.

_Ma_

"Here to see me right? Is she... Detective Rizzoli's mother?" James paced his words, planting every word like a seed, not drying to dig the hole too deep.

"Yes" Maura was twisting the ring on her finger.

"She's upset" Jane heard her voice crack.

_Don't you dare Rizzoli, you can't risk it, do not agree to seeing her, you'll blow it. _

"Very, she would like to see you, she's composed herself enough to request your attendance to a formal interview"

_Interrogation, by my own fuckin' Ma, fuck, fuck, fuck. _

"So I have no choice?"

"I'm afraid not, I've been set to escort you there"

"Good" Jane felt the word burn, the slip of the tongue. Innocent but deadly.

Maura looked at James wide eyed.

_She's giving me the look, look away Rizzoli, do IT. _

Jane avoided eye contact.

"What did you say?" Maura's curiosity was bubbling, this man... _who_ was he?

"Good... becouse if that Frost guy had to... I think I'd go crazy"

_Nice save._

"_Right_" Maura dragged the word and turned her back, her hair falling softly around her shoulders, bouncing.

As they walked, Jane couldn't help but look at Maura.

Jane's footsteps were soft, she'd left her shoes behind.

_Should I say... nah, you're to far gone, walk in socks, keep it cool. _

"Korsak" Maura smiled, they'd reached the interrogation unit faster than Jane liked. Her stomach did cartwheels.

"Is he..." Korsak scanned James.

"What?" Maura turned and followed Korsak's line of sight.

Jane looked down at her own feet innocently.

"Where the heck are your shoes?"

"I took them off, my feet hurt" Jane shrugged, giving them both a crooked smile. Maura pressed her lips into a hard line to refrain from smiling at him, this was serious, she couldn't be smiling.

"Let's just get this over with" Korsak groaned and kept his focus on James.

Jane felt light headed as the door opened, like the world fell from under her feet.

Her lungs couldn't cope, she found her breaths become heavy and raspy.

Angela Rizzoli sat surrounded by tissues with a stern, red blotchy face.

_Oh shit._

Jane sat down heavily across from her and looked at the table. Never before had she found something so common, so fascinating.

"So" Angela croaked.

Jane's attention snapped up, a lump grew in her throat, if she didn't throw up, she'd pass out.

"You're the man they found... instead of my daughter"

Jane sucked in a breath and nodded.

_Instead?_

"Do you know where she is? _They_ keep sayin' you do"

Jane shook her head and watched as Angela's composure cracked.

"But I will find her" Jane gave Angela a dark, determined look. She was going to find the bastard that turned her into a man, seeing her Mother hysteric had torn a hole out of her aching heart and she knew she couldn't sit in a holding cell being asked the same questions.

Behind the screen Korsak turned to Maura, liking this guys new attitude.

"Do you think we should let him?" in that brief statement, Korsak had heard this guys mind, it was like he was willing to die for this.

Maura shuddered as James intense stare was directed at her, it was like he knew where she was sat.

"He's a suspect" Maura's voice was small.

"He looks pissed" Korsak noted, trying to stop a hell bent grin infecting his lips.

"I know" Maura was transfixed with his dark eyes, they spoke to her in a frequency she only knew he was sending to her.

Angela gave a small smile at James.

"You will?" Angela's voice was soon shaky.

"They aren't gonna keep me in here, I'm going to find Jane and they aren't going to stop"

Angela saw his gaze fix on the back of the room once more.

Korsak looked away.

"We might as well put him to use"  
>"He can't remember anything... but, if we expose him to the surroundings again..."<p>

Korsak cut in, smiling in hope at James.

"He could remember and lead us straight to Jane... Doc, you're a hella good woman"

Maura smiled softly.

"Thank you Detective"

Jane wandered out of the integration room, the grey brick walls had toyed with her mental exploration.

She was intent on keeping her promise, it burned inside her heart, singeing her innards.

Leaning against the wall, her head throbbed, the chill of the paint soothed the expanding head ache.

"Hey, kid" Korsak walked to her. Jane looked at him lazily.

"Yeah"

"You said you wanted to find Jane, you up for it?"

"Why would I fuckin' say it if I didn't mean it" Jane grumbled harshly, she wanted to sleep. Maura tapped Korsak's shoulder and smiled at him.

"I'll take it from here Vince"

"Okay Doc, just get this guy in a better mood" he added before walking down the corridor.

Jane pushed herself from the wall and rubbed her temple.

"You appear to be experiencing an acute pain at the temporal lobe"

"Yeah" Jane hummed her words and sighed. "You could say that"

"Most likely a tension headache"

"Ya think? I've just been in a room with my... a God damn distraught women who looked like she was about to kill me if I said the wrong thing"

"Motherly instincts tend to override rationality sixty percent of the time"

"Not to be rude, but stop"

Maura silenced, her eyes were soon fixed on trying to figure out the man in front of her.

_He acts too much like Jane, maybe it's just me... yes, I would pick out her characteristics in other person, I'm missing her so my natural instinct is to pick out habits she would do to make myself feel better and easier about her absence._

"I have some paracetamol in my office, you're welcome to have some"

"Thanks Maur" Jane winced, she'd said Maur... she practically heard the clogs turning in the M.E's head.

"_Maur_?" Maura challenged. "It's Doctor Isles to you Mr Novelli"

"Why don't" Jane proposed, running a hand through her hair. "You call me James and I call you Doc?"

"I can't see how that would be unauthorised"

"There we go" Jane started to walk down the corridor and Maura stood with her arms crossed watching his every move.

_He even walks like Jane. Stop it Maura, it is an impossibility that this man could be Jane. _

"If you want to act all hero about this James I suggest you walk behind me" Maura spoke unimpressed.

"Act hero?" Jane stopped and turned.

"I enjoy your confidence but please don't try to lead me" Maura walked past him, smirking to herself at his disgruntled face.


	8. Chapter 8

**Nickelback had a profound influence on this chapter.. can you tell?**

**THIS CHAPTER IS M**.

* * *

><p>Jane leant against Maura's desk, tapping her feet in a steady rhythm as Maura rooted around to find the paracetamol she owed.<p>

"Are you going somewhere?" Jane hid the sadness behind curiosity. The boxes clarified she'd been preparing for weeks.

"Not yet" Maura paused to speak and looked down at her feet. "I don't want to go anywhere yet"

"Where are you headed?"

"New York"

"New... you can't!" Jane snapped, lashing out but composed herself once she realised she had to be James, the guy who knew nothing about Maura, they guy who didn't know anything.

"You can't... it's too busy"

"I think I can handle it James" Maura chuckled sweetly, ignoring his previous outburst.

"What if Jane wants to contact you?"

Maura turned to him fully, her eyes stung.

"Jane is... she used to be someone in my life, she won't know until the day I go"

"That's not fair" James gave her a dark look, almost as if he'd been personally hurt.

"It is once you realise what she did to me"

"If you two had a past, not like _that_ but if you two were so close, give the woman some damn respect and tell her you are going"

"I don't think it's you place to tell me what I should and shouldn't do James" Maura crossed her arms tightly across her chest.

"I think she cares about you, damn more than _you _think" James was visibly shaking. Maura tensed.

"How dare you presume such a thing, she told me she didn't care the moment she shot my father, she cares too much about this fucking job than a friend"

"I think she made a mistake" James was gripping the edges of the table until his knuckles turned white.

"I_ think _you are taking this all too personally" Maura snapped and threw the paracetamol at him absently.

Jane scolded herself, she had to stop.

_Just stop Jane Rizzoli, just watch yourself._

"Sorry" James spoke woodenly and looked at the packet. "How many do I take?"

"Just one, they are strong"

Jane picked at the film over the pills and plucked one from the small plastic crater it had been sat in.

Gulping down the pill, she looked over to a disgruntled Maura. She didn't know if it was her brain avoiding the former anger or how the anger had rubbed off, but she was finding Maura increasingly sexy. The way her dress clung to her hourglass figure let Jane's eyes be attracted to her at every level and any angle. The black material made her eyes stand out and framed by heavy lashes.

_I could kiss her, right now, just walk up to her and kiss her._

Maura's eyes fell to James crotch.

Jane felt all blood drain from her face as she felt an ache growing into a pain.

_Please God. Oh fucking hell no. _

Jane tried not to look at Maura, hell she just wanted to get out of the room.

Maura blushed slightly but felt something move inside her, something stirred with a hungry prowl in her chest.

_He is remarkably like Jane, it his eyes. _

"I honestly don't know..." James stuttered and felt a heat under Maura's gaze.

"I do" Maura gulped, blushing like she'd just seen a peep show.

"I..." Jane hated this body, with a passion. At least women are subtle about this sort of thing, men just say hi and want to get on with it.

Maura walked over and placed her hand on Jane's heaving chest and felt the muscle.

_He drew her in, she had to... but she couldn't... she needed it._

Her nails felt like tiny irons even through the thin material of Jane's shirt.

She _really_ hated this male body.

"Doc, if you..."  
>Maura gazed at James with hooded eyes.<p>

_Shit, why the fuck is this thing actually hurting... and throbbing, what the fuck?_

Setting aside a fond disgust at her new 'partner' Jane couldn't help but snake her hands around Maura's waist, feeling her lean body under her hands made the tension grow. She loved the feel of the dress but guessed it wouldn't feel as good as the skin that lay beneath.

Maura nuzzled James neck, humming into the soft skin of his neck. Jane let out a strangled grunt and ran her hands to cup Maura's rear.

Maura made a small whine and Jane lifted her onto her lap. Jane sat on the desk and groaned as Maura's dress rose up her legs as she straddled her.

_I'm going to die, if I die, this won't be such a bad way to go... nobody will know it's me. _

Maura moaned breathlessly as she felt James. Gulping harshly, Jane planted a feverish kiss upon Maura's parted lips.

Maura ran her finger's through James shabby hair and deepened the kiss, she needed this.

Her chest heaved and she decided to act upon natural impulse. Maura ground her hips softly into James making him grunt and hold her down on him.

Jane flicked her tongue into Maura's mouth earning a groan from the M.E.

"Oh fuck" Jane growled as they parted for air.

Maura nibbled at his ear lobe, Jane thrust up in a knee jerk reaction.

Maura dragged her teeth against the sensitive skin.

"Maura" Jane's husky voice groaned out loudly as her hands played with the hair at the back of his neck. "Maura no" James pleaded, but the feelings, the natural toxins ran around her body.

"Why?" she breathed lowly into his ear then in a ploy ground against him again.

"Oh shit, Maur"

Jane was suddenly aware of Maura's breast flushed against her heaving chest.

Maura continued to kiss her way down his neck, nipping the skin and humming. Jane growled and unzipped the back of her dress, listening to the small metallic sound as if it was a prayer. The cold air that hit Maura's skin made her wriggle, grinding more into Jane's lap.

"We can't..." Jane panted, her jeans felt like fire.

"We are doing" Maura kissed James forcefully and ran her hand down to unzip his jeans.

"No, what about..." James panted.

"I have nobody" Maura flicked the button open and bit his bottom lip as she slid the zip open.

_This is so fucked up, I love it, but fucking hell this is wrong._

Jane whimpered as Maura's right hand slid in to her boxers.

James kissed her and let Maura wrap her legs fully around his waist so James could stand up and reposition them.

"Someone could walk in" Jane warned kissing Maura's jaw line.

"Let them" Maura spoke in soft rasps, Jane made short work of setting them down on the black sofa Maura had purchased.

Jane pressed their foreheads together and Maura shrugged her dress off and Jane tugged it over her head. Maura's black lingerie shrouded Jane's mind with sex.

"You look..." Jane's words had been robbed.

"It's only fair you join in" Maura winked making Jane's heart flutter. Ripping off her t-shirt and jeans, along with socks, her male body was fully exposed to the both of them.

Maura had her eyes fixed on James black boxers.

"Calvin Klein?" Maura kissed James chest hungrily between words.

"Apparently" Jane looked down to see herself.

Maura then blushed with guilt.

_Jane would look sexy in those. _

Maura had tiny fetish when it came to boxers.

Jane leant down and kissed the valley between Maura's breasts then looked back up at her as she moaned. Maura ran her hands down to the boxers and slunk her hand under the white elastic band. Humming in satisfaction. Maura kissed James roughly.

"If we do this... we can't have a normal..."

"Shut up James"

Jane scoffed that was rich, coming from the M.E who could never shut up.

Jane peeled off Maura's panties in one swift movement and Maura in turn yanked down the boxers her lover was clad in so they rested near his knees.

"Do it" Maura whispered into his ear and after that a haze isolated the pair.


	9. Chapter 9

**Quite a long chap... hope you enjoy**

* * *

><p>Maura rolled over, her bare skin heated under the sheets.<p>

Jane looked over at her, her face looked content but something was processing under her eye lids.

Jane resumed her pacing, her bare feet cold on Maura's bed room floor.

They'd struggled to drive over here last night, mainly due to the lack of clothing they'd snuck out of the building in.

Jane grinned at this memory.

Memory.

_I should just tell her, I mean, I tried before, but they thought I was a wack job. _

Jane remembered how Korsak had nearly punched her when she'd said she was her... well how James had said he was Jane.

_... maybe Maura will understand... she did scream out my name last night. _

Jane grinned proudly at that, remembering how Maura's voice rose an octave to shout _Jane_ through the waves of her orgasm.

_I can prove myself. _

Jane nodded and flexed her toes.

Jane snuck back into bed with Maura and attempted not to wake up the M.E. Jane tried to resume a natural sleeping position, but she ended up on her side, rigid and feeling too large next to Maura's petite frame, like the body she possessed would crush the woman.

Jane looked up at the ceiling, her eyes drawing patterns on the plain white paint.

_A dark blue light chilled the area around her. Her left arm throbbed and her attacker dragged her into the moon light. _

_A single beam hindered her blurry sight._

"_You'll feel something … I've never tried this before, so just go with it Detective" _

_Jane's chest tightened and her limbs ached like she was pinned down with nails. _

"_Stop it! Fuckin' hell" Jane writhed and felt every cell in her body boil and pop, her heart pounded in her ears, blocking out anything that her attacker was monologuing. _

_Jane let out a primal scream, her throat burned as it racked her frame. Beads of sweat dripped from every pore, making her twitching skin glisten. _

_Her flesh tore open, cracking and splitting, small blots of crimson dribbled from the seething wounds. Jane grunted with pain. _

"_There is wasn't so bad" the scene flickered and Maura's face appeared over hers. Her voice was empty void of anything remotely good, Maura's eyes were black, lurking with ghosts. _

"_Maur?" Jane panted, tears streaming down her face, as she witnessed a scalpel glint in the moon light. _

"_No, Maura!" Jane cried out, her voice pleading nagging the very fabric of her burning flesh. _

"_Hey Janey" Hoyt's voice bled from Maura's Cheshire grin. _

_Jane tried to back away, but her hands were pinned with scalpels, like she was a frog in a tray. _

_The blade touched the exposed skin of her neck, the moment the acute blade touched her heated flesh, Jane blacked out. _

Wrenching her body into a sitting position, Jane panted, groaning as her head pulsed.

"James" Maura touched his left biceps worriedly, her touch making his flinch away. "It's okay, you're safe, you were having a nightmare"

"I don't want this" Jane croaked out, choked, tears streaming down her cheeks. Maura was helplessly watching as the man broke down in front of her.

"Us?" Maura covered herself with the bed sheet.

"No" Jane groaned as she heard the heard the hurt in Maura's timid voice. "I don't want _this_" Jane motioned to her body, this anatomy of sin that she was trapped in.

Maura stared confused at him.

"Maura" Jane turned to her and cupped her cheek, even touching her felt wrong now. "Do you believe that people can be... turned into someone else?"

"What?" Maura sat crossed legged, covered by the whole bed cover now, leaving James exposed.

Jane didn't mind she needed the coolness of the room to sooth her heated skin.

"I can prove that I'm Jane"

"_No _James"

"Here me out" Jane knew this was either going to result in her getting kicked out or Maura would find away to explain it. "Please" James looked down defeated.

"Well psychotropic herbs are one way, but that's mentally shape shifting... it gave the user the characteristics of another being... but that was tribal beliefs, science and medicine can prove that it's not possible to physically change into another being" Maura gushed and fixed her eyes on the pillow. "James I think you need to go to the hospital"

"Fine" Jane held up her hands, getting out of bed and pulling on her tattered clothing, she still had no fucking shoes. "Thanks for last night" she tugged on her jeans then pulled her shirt over her head. She discarded her socks.

"Really thank you" James walked from Maura's room and once Maura heard the front door firmly shut, she face planted the pillow in frustration.

_James is killing me. _

_Jane is killing me. _

_If I'm not dead by Friday, I'll be lucky._

* * *

><p>Jane ran through the park across from Maura's house. Her bare feet striking the grass heavily.<p>

The breeze helped clear her pounding mind.

_I can't tell anyone I'm me. _

_I can't explain how I fuckin' changed into this and most of all I just slept with Maura in this body. _

_Good God I'm fucked. _

Jane slowed her run into a well paced jog while she thought things through.

_Get some new clothes. _

Peering down at her current attire made her wince.

_Defo new clothes, something professional, but not a suit._

_Anything but a fucking suit. _

Jane looked ahead, it was normally a half an hour drive to Maura's. Jane stopped to think, running a hand through her hair. The other side of this park, was another woodland track that lead Jane to the main road then to her apartment. From there she could get the spare money she stashed away under the loose floor board under her bed and get something more fitting to wear, probably grab some food.

It'd take half an hour tops if she ran.

_Do it. _

Jane looked down at her bare feet and winced, _suffer for fashion_ as Maura always mused.

Nearing the corner to her apartment, she saw a patrol car parked there.

Taking easy steps, Jane slunk behind a parked volkswagen to scope the perimeter of her apartment building.

A officer rested on the railing, pulling out a cigarette. Jane narrowed her eyes, she needed a distraction to lure him away.

Jane then looked at the car she was hidden behind.

"I'm going to hell for this" she hissed before shattering one of the passenger seat windows and sprinting into the near by bushes for cover.

Crouched in the dirt Jane watched as the officer dropped his cigarette and ran over to the bleeping fit the car was producing.

While he assessed the situation, with a look of _what the fuck_ plastered across his face, Jane vaulted the wall that guarded the steps the apartment building and slipped in.

With a racing heart she took the stairwell, bolting up the first two flights she stumbled through the door and pressed her back to the wall, laughing to herself deeply, she felt like G.I. Joe.

Nobody was outside her apartment door.

Jane looked for any give way that someone had been in. The door was still locked and Jane looked over the potted plant on the corner of the hallway.

She always buried a spare key in the soil. Jane dug into the soil and plucked the key out from it's hiding place.

Slotting it into the door, the smell of take out wafted to her as the door creaked open.

_Damn_

She still hadn't cleaned up from two nights ago, the aluminium trays with left overs still sat on the coffee table.

Joe barked and ran growling at her.

"Shit Joe, nobody has taken you yet?"

Joe stood with what looked like a frown across her tiny terrier face.

"Sorry Joe Friday"

Joe backed away and snarled.

_You're not Jane any more. _

"Shh Joe" he rubbed the terrier behind her left ear, the dog sensed something about the intruder. Jane padded over to the coffee table and cleared up her junk and poured some fresh food and water into Joe's bowls, the terrier barked in thanks.

"Good girl" her male voice sounded wrong praising the dog.

Jane set out to raid her money stash.

Opening her bedroom door, she dived to the floor and crawled under her bed. Lifting the plank with a crack, she grabbed the jar and heaved it up.

Spilling the innards of the jar out onto the floor she hurriedly counted the money.

"Twenty, twenty, ten, five, five, five, twenty, ten..."

After counting two years of savings she grinned to herself.

Two hundred and sixteen dollars.

_Take half and leave the rest for a rainy day. _

Jane stuffed the money into her pocket and spotted her converse sat in the corner of the room. 3 sizes small, but they'd have to do.

"Joe" she called out and the dog trotted, looking like she knew who this man stood in front of her really was. "I'll be gone for a while, I'll be back, be good and if you pee on the sofa, I'll kill you" she warned the terrier.

Joe made a small grunt and Jane shook the small dogs paw before running back out again.

* * *

><p>Maura took a shower and looked down at the black dress she'd worn the night before.<p>

Guilt attacked her, glad in a towel, she felt exposed to everything.

She'd slept with James, the suspect, the insane man that she craved.

_I had no reason to do that with him._

Maura sank to the bed and groaned, what was going on?

She felt like she'd just cheated on the world, like she'd gone against everything right.

Jane would have hated it.

Jane.

Maura looked across the room to the picture of the pair asleep on the sofa after Tommy's birthday party.

Maura never wanted to get rid of that picture, even Jane's betrayal couldn't shake that moment away.

They fallen asleep atop of each other, Maura smiled softly remembering being considerably intoxicated at the time, Jane had been the same.

Maura plucked the photo from the dresser and giggled. Jane was cuddling her close, a party hat placed atop of her head.

Maura still felt the woman's warm embrace around her. The party was still going on around them but they had been captured in time, loving each other.

Maura felt a tears prick her eyes, before she knew it, she was sobbing.

Her body shook and she rubbed her thumb across the image of Jane's sleeping face.

Why did she fell like she'd just slept with Jane... but cheated on her at the same time? Why did she feel like every time she saw James like Jane had just hugged her then punched her in the face.

Anger soon took over the sadness. Anger at herself wasn't helping but there was something she couldn't place.

It was impossible that James could be Jane, but the way he talked, the way he moved, God, this morning when he asked her about shape shifting, she shouldn't have pushed him away. Maura sat up bolt straight, setting the photo beside her and sighing deeply.

She was never one to assume things, or listen to her intestines, but she had a hunch.

She was going to hear James out.

Walking into the morgue, Maura was greeted with a content looking James.

Maura was pleased to see he'd changed into something more fitting.

He was clad in a black shirt, a black leather jacket, along with straight black jeans and black army boots.

The all black look suited him. He'd had a hair cut also, is hair was trimmed but still rouged. His fringe was curved smartly to the left. Maura smiled at him, he looked like Clark Kent as nerdy as it sounded, Jane would have said the same, in fact she would have geeked out.

"You look better" Maura smiled as James twirled a scalpel between his fingers smoothly.

"You too" James returned the smile.

"I like your hair" Maura walked over and ran a hand through it.

"I look like superman" he joked and wrapped his hands around Maura's waist. Jane slapped her self, she couldn't get distracted again, she didn't want last night to happen again as much as her body wanted it to.

Jane removed her hands from around Maura and plucked a mug of herbal tea from the gurney.

"I thought you might like it"

Maura took it and pecked James on the cheek.

"Thank you" Maura hugged the mug with her hands.

"I thought today we'd take a look at the crash sight, it's still being cleared and Boston is at a standstill"

"How are are we going to get there then?" Maura sipped at the tea.

James grinned at her, making Maura melt into her tea.

"We do it the old fashioned way... walk"

* * *

><p>The afternoon sky was cloudy, the sun prevailed to poke through in what appeared like pin holes.<p>

Maura's heels clicked as they walked, well Maura was soon at the point of moaning in discomfort at her own doing.

"Suffer for fashion" Jane hummed as she strode ahead, Maura watched with narrowed eyes.

"You'll let me suffer?" Maura put in an innocent voice and Jane rolled her eyes.

"No" Jane responded and stopped to let the M.E catch up. They were ten minuets away from the highway, Jane could still smell the spilt gas and burnt rubber. She winced.

Maura hobbled as they began to pick up the pace.

"Urg, James stop... my feet hurt... I know better than this..." Maura stopped and pulled her heels off.

"But you'll want to keep them on..." James looked at the shoes then her.

_Maura isn't heavy_

"Come here" James stopped and crouched slightly. "I know ladies don't like to piggy back, but in this case, hop aboard"

Maura looked at him quizzically.

"James, I'm wearing a dress... a pencil dress"

Jane turned and scanned Maura up and down. A grey dress dress coming down to the top of her knees.

"It's either a piggy back or I carry you like a baby monkey" James smirked and Maura huffed.

"I'll go with the baby monkey" she stared flatly at him, receiving a wink.

James lifted her so Maura's legs were rapped around his waist, her arms wrapped around the back of his neck and her head rested snugly in the nape of his neck. James held her in place by shifting his hands told cup her glutes.

"Nice leg muscle" Jane flirted and Maura huffed, irritated by this compromising position in public. She felt like a toddler.

"Just walk"

Jane laughed at Maura's irritation.

"I'm glad you find this funny"

"I find this very cute" he whispered and walked with ease down to the highway.

Patrol cars swarmed the perimeter.

"Okay put me down, I think I can walk now" Maura squirmed out of Jane's hold and landed with every ounce of grace onto the balls of her feet. She leant on James as she put her heels back on.

"Hey, no pedestrians" a officer strode up to them, a mean sneer on his face.

"Detective Ri...Novelli and this is Dr Maura Isles, so I suggest you back off" James growled, flashing the badge he'd snagged from the evidence bag earlier that morning. Maura was caught off guard but nodded. Jane felt a wave of smug accomplishment as the officer silenced.

"Sorry, go ahead" he looked James up and down. Maura kept to his side as they walked through the wreckage.

Jane rolled her jaw and slotted the badge onto her belt.

"You could get arrested, imitating Detective is a crime" Maura hissed and James shot her a clam smile.

"That's why I don't intend on getting caught"

Maura gave him a look as if to say _honestly?_

"I'll like to see how that works out for you _Detective _Novelli"

"Thank you _Doctor _Isles"

Jane smirked and Maura continued to walk through the clean up.

Shells of burnt cars and glass plagued the highway.

"This is terrible" Maura soaked in the scene and pressed a shaky hand to her mouth.

_Jane had been in this... Jane would have gotten out... right?_

"James" Maura turned to the man, who looked pale, staring over to the mess of metal.

"That is...was"

"Jane's car" Maura cried and jogged over.

"She got out" James followed on the heel.

"How do you _know?_"

"I just know" he rested a hand on her hip, rubbing his thumb soothingly.

Jane grimaced inwardly, oh Christ... I had my jacket in there.

"You don't know!" Maura span around, jerking away from the contact. Her reddened eyes latched with James.

"Maura... trust me"

"I'm having to" Maura crossed her arms and looked at her feet.

_It's time... just frikin' say it Rizzoli. _

"I call Bass a turtle" it was a pathetic hint of inside knowledge but it was the best that came to mind.

"What?" Maura looked up her voice small.

"Bass your... tortoise, I call it a turtle to make you react and pull this little expression that I love"

"No, James stop"

"You used to be called Maura the bora in school.. I used to be called Roly Poly Rizzoli becouse I was chubby"

Maura narrowed her eyes and slapped James in the face, the sound of skin on skin contact echoing in the waste land.

"You... stop it!" she hissed pointing a warning finger at him. She knew she'd said she wanted proof that it was Jane, but no, not now, not while they stood next to her crushed car.

_She's dead._

"Maura"

"Do not come near me!"

Jane stood helplessly.

"Christ Maura, don't you fucking get it!" Jane rose her hands in emphasis. "You look like you want to know, well I'm alive Maura, I'm trapped in this fucking body and you want to listen to science, well science didn't cause this baby" she snapped and motioned up and down her body.

Maura slapped him again, her palm still throbbing from the last assault.

"James, you... you... bye Mr Novelli" Maura stormed off, wiping her eyes roughly to halt the tears.

Jane stood seething and kicked the wreck.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hope this is good enough as a last chapter.. thank you for reading it****, I always love a review.**

* * *

><p>The street light outside Jane's apartment was the only thing to light the sitting room as Jane paced, her boots hitting the wooden flooring harshly.<p>

Joe sat on the sofa watching the man pace.

Twirling the gun in her left hand Jane rolled her jaw. Getting the gun had been easy, a swift distraction always proved helpful. The lab techs had nearly died when they'd witnessed some evidence begin disappear every time they turned their back.

Jane grinned darkly. Purple circles haunted her eyes, tonight she was going to hunt down the bastard that had done this to her, she couldn't put Maura through any more trauma.

Jane had written down a list of all the places that were in close proximity to the highway, it had taken her all day to realise where it was.

It was the warehouse where she'd shot Doyle, she remembered through jumbled thoughts and lots of notes.

He'd be hiding out there.

She was sure of it.

He'd said she was the perfect weapon, she'd go back and make sure she lived up to his assumption by shooting his brains out.

Jane felt the cold metal of the gun in her palm. She was ready. Grabbing her jacket, she exited the building, leaving a tired Joe behind.

Maura sat at her desk, drawing circles on a page.

"A penny for your thoughts Doc" Korsak entered with a kind smile on his features.

"Vince" she smiled looking up from the now ruined page.

"Have you seen James anywhere?" his voice lowered.

"Not since this afternoon" Maura admitted bitterly.

"Well, Jane's gun is missing from the lab, the techs have gone crazy about it"

"_What?_"Maura shot up from her desk.

"Yeah, I think James might have it..." Korsak started but Maura cut him off.

"... where did you find James again?"

"Near Jane's car..."

"Where are they nearest places she could have taken refuge? Or James could have come from?"

"I'll get Frost on it"

"James has been gone for … 7 hours and 15 minuets, that would have given him time to figure out where Jane is" Maura muttered, _find Jane_ was a cover up, she knew who he was... he was Jane, it had taken 7 hours, but for the past 15 minuets, she'd given the impossibility a chance. In technicality, he was off to find Jane, he was off to find himself... if that made sense.

"Make sure he hurries up, I don't want to see James do something he regrets" Maura knew this wasn't just a hunch, this was real and Jane was hunting down the man who had turned her into James.

The distant drip of water sounded behind the heavy crunching of glass. Moon light shone through the broken windows, ripping Jane's robust shadow. The warehouse was in fact a shroud of shadows.

Jane's eyes were scoping the dark, her gun clutched in her hands. A fever crawled across the skin she possessed and beaded into a cold sweat. She recognised the smoky air, how a dampness lingered it was here that bastard changed her into this maniac.

Hooded eyes watched from behind the man that prowled.

Jane's mouth became dry, gluing the chapped lips she owned together. Her own husky breaths haunted her.

The image of Hoyt pulsed through her brain, flickering in a abyss of smoke his Cheshire grin swamping her mind. She'd faced him, she'd killed him with her bare hands, she could take on this fucker. Her male body working to her advantage.

"So..." a rough voice barked through the warehouse. "I thought this place would be fitting" the yellow glow of a lighter attracted Jane's eyes, her heart was pulsing and pounding in her ears. The blood rushing through her veins electrified the adrenalin as it laced her every move.

A stocky man walked into her sight, bleeding from the shadows.

Jane finally knew why she was there in the same burnt warehouse Doyle had been shot, this guy wanted to fuck with her. Her insides began to burst, like simple over heated pipes, they splintered.

Jane stumbled back, her lungs fought for air that the toxins of panic prevented.

"No" Jane rasped out pointing her gun directly at her attackers chest.

"The one place, _she _is bound to look"he taunted, puffing on his cigarette the tip burning in orange embers.

"We all fucking knew I'd come" James voice was deeper, adding an needed echo to ward the attacker off.

"Not _you_" blowing rings of smoke from his puckered lips, the attacker smiled, smoke filtering through his teeth. "But yeah, you all know"

"What?" tensing her jaw and snapping the word, the attacker paced. She couldn't kill him, he was the only one who could change her back.

"I'm sure a certain Medical Examiner knows you're here... you've been gone for seven hours"

"How... how do _you _know _she'll_ look for _me_?" her challenge was week, they both knew Maura would search for her.

"Janey" he smirked and took another drag this time puffing out while speaking.

Jane flinched as he leant against a charred beam.

"Don't you fucking call me Janey, you bastard" Jane spat out aiming her gun steadier.

"_Fine, _Jane" he examined his cigarette, pinching it from his thin lips to look at the white paper skin.

"She'll come, then you'll be all female again"

"I'm not making deals, she isn't coming"

"Three"

"Why are you..."

"Two"

"No, wait"

"One"

The sound of a car approaching sent Jane into a frenzy, she begged it was passing, but when the engine cut out and the sound of a door clicking open, her fears were clarified.

"Shit" Jane hissed and made her way to the entrance, all the while pointing her gun at the attacker.

She was going against her training, but she wasn't a Detective, she was a man who had nothing.

"No!" Jane pressed her back to a rusting metal fence, it clanked with the rough appliance of weight.

"Maura get out of here!"

"Jane?" Maura sprinted in, her heels scraping across the floor.

_Jane? Shit, she figured it out._

"Maura, get away"

"What are you doin..."

"GET OUT" Jane rasped, dreading the seconds later when she felt a hand fall heavily on her shoulder and wrench her back With a audible 'umph' she hit the floor heavily. Jane's left hand hit the floor in a delay, shards of glass dug into her softened skin and her gun skidded across the floor, making a metallic scratching noise as it did so. The rest of her body had escaped with possible bruising.

"Maura!" Jane recovered and scrambled for her gun. A solid boot clad kick collided with her chin, upper cutting her and a terrified scream from Maura insured it was bad. Jane felt numb by the time Maura was shouting, crying and battling with the attacker.

The echo of their voices seemed to be absorbed by the ghost of the fire.

Jane licked her tongue across her bottom lip, the coppery taste of blood pooled on her tongue.

_Bust lip I can deal with that_

Jane dragged her limbs into action, her chest heaving as her arms wobbled in attempt as she hauled herself up.

"No Jane!" Maura's voice strained, horse from her attempt to warn her.

Another kick to the ribs made Jane fall down in the foetal position.

"Thanks for this by the way Jane" she heard his heavy foot steps thud by her ear then crunch over to retrieve the gun.

Jane gasped for air and groaned, her eyes were screwed shut, a bodily reaction so she could concentrate on easing the pain.

"Maura" she dragged out and wrenched her body up before she could be knocked back down.

Jane stumbled on her feet and spat out a wad of blood. Grotesque but needed.

"I don't think so Janey" he was now holding the gun to her in his right hand. Maura whimpered as she felt the cold barrel pressed to her temple.

_If this bullet generates a decent-sized temporary cavity it will shove my brain against the confines of my skull, intensifying the damage done. My skull fragments can become secondary missiles, increasing the damage to the brain, which will probably be blow out of my head at that point._

Maura gulped roughly, her throat accommodating the saliva like it was sand paper.

"Don't you touch her!" Jane growled, her voice breaking through a husky shout.

"Just did Janey" he twisted the barrel mockingly against Maura's skin.

Maura's eyes fluttered shut.

_If I'm going to die this way at least I've forgiven Jane._

Jane's heart bounced around her chest creating a ache that winded her. Regret stabbed at her gut, ripping the skin open and letting the insides spill in bloody amounts.

"Maura" Jane felt tears prick her eyes, stinging in the damp air. "What do you want" Jane looked darkly over to the attacker, his smug grin sparking anger within the Detective.

"I want Maura"

"Then why are you holding a gun to her head?" Jane barked, her male voice bleeding through gritted teeth.

"I don't care if she's dead or alive, I just want her to be an end to Doyle"

Doyle was still in the hospital, it was true.

"Wait" Jane held her hands out. "I just want to know, how the fuck you managed to do this to me"

"Oh" the attacker tilted his head and held Maura tighter to him. "Just some Russian genetic coding... all that stuff is complicated, I had to snag it from a fucking military base"

"All that trouble just to get Maura?"

"What can I say, she's an important little girly" he spat into the M.E's ear.

Maura winced and tried to pull away from his smoky breath.

Jane flexed her hands in and out of fists.

"Why did you need me?"

"Who else would lure Maura here? She would never come here of her own accord"

"I'm guessing you caused the crash" Jane knew how to keep a guy monologuing. "Why change me into a man?"

"A little fun to see if the Russian's did a good job, they have apparently... well that's for another time"

"Why Doyle?" Jane knew that man had irritated many big gangs.

"He killed my top scientist, he killed my family, he fucking killed my kid... I'm going to upstage him, his kid is a fucking genius"

Jane scanned the rafters, Maura watched Jane intently, she knew that look.

"Change me back" she spoke heavily. "We have a deal"

Maura felt her heart leap up her throat, Jane was giving her up?

"Really Miss Rizzoli? Or is this just a tiny bluff?"

Jane grinned darkly and walked up to pair.

"You can have her... she hates me" Jane gave her a dark stare and spoke with conviction. "I don't want her... thinking about it Doyle got what he deserved... I mean _killing_ your kid... that's fucking harsh"

Maura blinked away tears and stared at Jane, she looked serious, even in her male body her eyes were blood shot and her body shook, her voice was laced with venom.

"Fucking have her" Jane spat and slapped her across the face. The attacker recoiled for a second but grinned at Jane's new evil.

"Self interest is the best interest"

"Yeah, whatever, just change me back" Jane stood with her arms out. Maura felt her right cheek sting, the skin had split, she'd felt it. Now the warmth of her blood dribbled down her cheek. Tears rolled freely down her cheeks, salting the fresh wound. The attacker threw her to the floor, like he was discarding a piece of paper and took out a needle. Maura felt her limbs crash to the cement floor, aching attacked her limbs, a gaze on her forearm and a a few cuts on her legs graced her skin. They were grey, the powder from the fire dusted the surfacing blood.

Jane gulped harshly and the attacker stabbed the needle into Jane's vein. The metal rod sunk into her flesh with ease, ripping it back out, Jane stumbled back her skin tingled.

Dropping to the floor, writhing, Jane screamed as her blood began to boil. Her skin blistered and reddened in a matter of a few seconds, the toxins broke her skin open, blood rippled down her skin in crimson streaks, like tiny rivers they bled into an ocean in no time/

Maura watched in horror at the scene, Jane shook, like a demon was crawling from her chest and her skin peeled away, falling off in lifeless heaps to expose fresh skin. Jane's screams reached wretches and blood spat from her lips, burning away, rolling over Jane cried, feeling her bones shrinking snapping into one another. With a pained shriek, blood pooled around her body, drenching her clothes and her screams soothed and her body stilled. The flesh she had shed created twitching lumps as the nerves responded. The attacker puffed stamped out his cigarette and after Jane didn't move he closed in, to inspect her lifeless body. Bloody like a new born, Jane lay in her female form.

Maura shook in hysterical sobs, muffling them the best she could.

The attacker prodded Jane's body with his foot and grimaced as blood pooled onto it.

"Gross" he spat and turned back to face Maura. "Remind me to have a word with those Russians"

Hanging his arms, he tapped the gun against it's thigh. Opening her eyes, Jane ached but didn't let it faze her. Maura spotted this but stayed still.

Jane's heart pulsed and she leapt to her feet, ripping the gun from the attackers hand, she sluggishly held it up at him. Her clothes dripped with blood and she panted holding the gun in aim with his temple.

The attacker lurched forward but Jane spat out a wad of blood and pulled the trigger, the bullet collided with his head, shattering his skull and blowing out the back of his head with the short range Jane shot at. White and pink mush dribbled down the back of his broken head as he fell flat on his face.

Jane stared at the body and grimaced at the mess.

Dropping her gun with a soggy clank, Jane shed the jacket and boots to make her movements less heavy. Shedding the jeans she was clad in a blood soaked shirt and boxers.

"I'm not gonna eat for a week" Jane ruffled her soaked hair and gulped.

Maura laughed in disbelief, the laugh soon dissolved into sobs.

Jane ran over and crouched by the M.E.

"I thought... I don't know what I thought" Maura sat up and pulled Jane into a well needed hug.

"It's okay, you're safe baby" she tried to sooth Maura's sobs, but felt her own tears roll down her cheeks, washing away the drying blood on her skin.

"You smell like death" Maura pulled back and grimaced at Jane's bloody body but smiled. "It's never been so welcoming"

Maura planted a rough kiss on Jane's lips and cupped her face to intensify it. Tasting copper on Jane's lips she smiled and kissed her fluidly.

The distant sound of sirens broke the pair apart.

"How the fuck I am I going to explain … this" Jane motioned to herself then glanced at the dead body with brains still hanging loose from his skull.

"I have no idea" Maura pressed their foreheads together and kissed Jane again.


	11. The start of something new?

**Hmmmm do I sense a whole new story?** **Very last chapter in this fic but if asked... I may develope it into a more sane continuation.**

* * *

><p>A new body a new day.<p>

Maura washed her hands carefully before examining the body upon the table.

Still covered from prying eyes by a white sheet, Maura slipped on a fresh pair of latex gloves, the feeling of it against her washed skin made her cringe for the brief moments it slid over damp patches on the back of her hands.

Maura felt her stomach churn was the wave of realisation, it often breezed away for a half hour if she was occupied but when she was left alone, trapped in a room with her thoughts, the reminder crawled back.

Flexing her fingers and walking over to the body, she pulled back the sheet.

As her eyes grazed the body, her head span, joining her stomach in churning. The purple and tinge of blue flesh sent flows of horror into Maura's delicate system. Maura recoiled and pressed her back against the sink, attempting to steady herself. She felt the urge to vomit rise in her throat, closing her eyes didn't help the feeling, it zoned on it more.

Gulping, Maura turned and doubled over retching into the sink.

Jane sat at her desk, rolling a pen through her fingers and clamping the inside of her cheek between her teeth.

The black desktop provided no entertainment, neither did Frost, he was too busy typing up reports.

Jane had finished hers, now she was stuck.

"Do you want a coffee?" Jane finally announced, dropping the pen and rubbing her eyes of sleep.

"Yeah, make it black"

Jane smirked and Frost chuckled.

"As always" Jane mused as she headed for the café.

Listening to her boots thud against the floor distracted her happily, put she felt something stirring.

Walking past the elevators, Jane glanced to the down button.

Jane pressed the button firmly and crossed her arms for the duration of her twenty second wait.

Confining herself in the metal box, Jane headed down to the morgue.

Maura was too busy making her French toast and orange juice reappear to notice Jane stride in.

Jane's eyes fell straight to Maura's shaking body.

"Holy crap, Maur!" Jane jogged over and assumed the role of hair holder.

Maura sunk into herself and gripped the edge of the red sink tighter.

Jane looked away, rubbing soothing circles into her partners back.

"You look like hell Maura" Jane pulled the woman into a limp hug as Maura paused her free-form bodily function. Maura was still shaking and pulled away, holding her hand up to throw up again.

Jane winced as Maura continued for another minuet, knowing it was all over after she gave a whimper.

Jane dashed to grab the M.E a glass of water, well not so much glass as paper cup.

"Swill" Jane spoke softly handing Maura the cup. Maura carried out the instruction then spat out the water into the sink, freeing her mouth from the tang. Her mouth then dried up.

"Hold on" Jane ran over to the water cooler this time to give Maura some icy water to settle her raging innards.

"Stomach bug" Maura shrugged, her face pale as she then gulped down the water.

Jane crossed her arms across her chest, chewing on the inside of her cheek, evaluating Maura's symptoms. Jane knew a few things about stomach bugs and Maura in general, Maura never used the term 'bug'.

"You must be ill... you didn't say it's name"

"What's name?"

"The 'illness' if you really had a _bug_ you would know Maur" Jane wrapped the woman into another hug, warmer this time.

Maura rested her head on Jane's shoulder, exhausted.

"It's nine thirty in the morning, you've looked like this for days... Maur... are you..." Jane pulled away from the hug and Maura winced.

"No... I don't think so"

"You don't _think _so" Jane gave a disbelieving look. "Look I don't care who you slept with, I just care that you two didn't use... you know" Jane was surprised she wasn't even pissed that Maura had gone behind her back, Jane knew the guilt kept that emotion away.  
>Maura pressed her palm to her forehead and gulped.<p>

"Jane it's been nearly 6 weeks since... James"

Jane widened her eyes and tugged her mouth to the side for a second.

"I really didn't think about _that_" Jane wrung her hands.

"Me either until this started... I never vomit around" Maura motioned to the body on the table. "now all of a sudden I can't stand them" Maura gave Jane a desperate look.

"And..." Jane added thinking back to the other night. "You didn't touch those Thai green noodles I made, I just guessed I was a bad cook"

"Janey" Maura giggled and cupped Jane's face, Jane gave a sheepish smile. "You are a wonderful cook, apart from the time you blew up the microwave with a bowl of soup... but Janey, the fact that I'm completely going off the food I love is a... hint" Maura tilted her head in time with the word 'hint'.

"I guess so" Jane leant in a kissed Maura's forehead. "Wait... so how the heck to we explain that I'm the Dad, even though I'm the Mom..."

"I don't care Janey" Maura nuzzled her nose into Jane's neck. "At least I know it was _you_"

"It's a little insane don't you think?"

"Most positivity, but then again, so are Russians" Maura chuckled and Jane gave her a dead pan stare but smirked.

"You're getting better at jokes"

"You'll have to get better with dealing with me if we're going through with this" Maura stood back and stared at her abdomen.

"We're going through with it... Maura, I can't wait"

"But I'm going to have mood swings, random cravings, the pressure on my balder will be unreal..."

Jane chuckled and kissed Maura softly.

"Maura, I can't wait"


End file.
